We all have a
favorite song. One that stirs a certain emotion and makes us believe that the
artist wrote that piece just for us. It may be hard for some to believe,
especially if you have been a reader of my political articles, but my favorite
song is Prince’s “Sometimes it Snow in April.” Being the last song on the
Parade album from 1986, it is not likely a song many people are familiar with. This
is sure to jerk a tear or two out of anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one. The very first notes resonate with sadness and the harrowing, hollow
feeling of someone important to you being gone forever. The last line “love
isn’t love until it’s past” suggests that we need to appreciate the friendships
and relationships we have because, at any moment, those people can disappear
from our lives.
This song had a
special meaning for me as a young teenager growing up in the 80s. I grew up without knowing what a mother’s loving touch was like. Or, what it meant to
have a dad there to teach me what I needed to be a man. I wasn’t
raised by either of my parents and I grew up not fully understanding why. My
parents were coming into adulthood at the tail end of the cultural revolution
where rebellion against the system was encouraged. This was the beginning of
the movement to discredit and destroy the family as an American institution. To
be fair, they both had problems that needed to be resolved but when they were,
they both opted out of parenthood, leaving me to deal with
an array of emotional issues that would develop over time.
I have never experienced
the kind of loss expressed in this song. For me, “Sometimes it Snows in April”
kind of represented the importance I wanted to be in someone else’s life. The
sentiment expressed in the song, the longing desire to be reunited with a
friend, the emptiness so perfectly expressed in describing the hole left in a
wounded heart. I wanted to be that important to someone. I grew up feeling like
I didn’t matter and if I wasn’t there, it really wouldn’t make a difference.
This wasn’t entirely true of course. I wasn’t cast aside like an unwanted puppy
and left to die on the side of the road. My grandparents picked me up
periodically while I grew up in what at first glance, seemed to be a normal
family with my dad’s aunt and her kids. Regrettably, this family was plagued
with alcoholism and divorce; meaning that my cousins all grew up with their own
problems. I do have a relationship with my mother today and I do love her. While
I have found it in my heart to forgive them both, I have a hard time relating
to them as I have learned life’s lessons on my own, and they have no experience
raising children. After struggling through my teenage years my grandparents
came through at a time when I needed someone most, and I love them dearly for
this.
Today, of course, I
have my own family. A wife I have been married to for twenty-six years. She
has shown me what it means to be a mother by selflessly devoting her entire
existence, almost too much so, to our children. I often wonder if she realizes
what this means to me. We have been through some trying times, which in today’s
quick divorce society would have ended many marriages. She has filled
the role of not only wife and mother, but a woman who has taught me what it means
to commit your efforts to someone else. Something I did not get growing up. She
has become to me what I always wanted to be to someone else, as I hope I am for
her. That one person you cannot live without. I am thankful to have her and
when I hear Prince’s song today I am reminded of all the things that I take for
granted as I realize that life is indeed fragile, and it can take a drastic
turn for any of us at any moment. Remember to tell those you love how important
they are while you can.
No comments:
Post a Comment